The 5 Dumbest Exercises of All Times
Dear Friend,
Be sure to pick up an issue of the current
MAD Magazine, featuring the 20 Dumbest
People and Events of 2004.
Topping the list is Donald Rumsfeld and the
Abu Ghraib prison scandal. Then it's Janet
Jackson and the breast-revealed outfit
during the Super Bowl ... and so on.
My personal favorites were the ones they did
on Madonna, Pete Rose and Donald Trump (whom
they called Forrest Trump - ala Forrest Gump).
Brilliant stuff. And for once, the writers were "fair
and balanced" - giving equal venom to both
political parties - which they no doubt deserve.
Too bad they didn't have time to put Kofi Annan
in there - but hey, gotta get to press sometime
and there's always something dumb someone is
doing - including the latest President Bush decision
to pat Kofi on the back. Huh?
Anyhoo, twas thinking while reading MAD about some
of the Dumbest Exercises, not just of 2004, but of all
times.
The Bench Press has to rank in there somewhere - and
being all the people who write to tell me of their blown
rotator cuffs and torn pecs - I'd tend to put it at the top
of the heap.
But then there's the "Ab Lounger." Hehehehehehehe.
Perfect, huh? Just lie down, do one or two crunches ..
and that's only if you haven't fallen asleep yet.
Then there's the pec deck machine. What a stupid
piece of machinery that is.
And what about the leg extension machine? It truly is
one of the worst devices ever designed - but perfect for
ruining the very knee it is supposed to rehabilitate. Had
a friend in high school, Steve, who was told by a physical
therapist to do leg extensions to prevent his knee from
popping out of socket.
So he did the leg extensions and the knee began to pop
out even more often.
The Nautilus Neck Machine has got to rank right up there
for stupidity, too. Put your noggin in between some pads
and push against them until you pull your trapezious
muscle in your neck.
Okay, how many do I have so far: Bench Press, Ab
Lounger, Pec Deck, Leg Extensions and Nautilus Neck
Machine. Well, that's five!
I'm sure I could come up with hundreds more - but
there's only so much stupidity I can allow myself to
think about in one sitting.
Bottom line: Get on the Royal Court in Combat
Conditioning. It'll shatter all the fantasy built into
the dumb exercises listed above.
Kick Butt - Take Names,
P.S. One of the best gifts you can give someone this
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These were small manuals with instructions on "what to
do."
Well, along with Master Zhang, I've brought these teachings
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P.P.S. And if you don't yet have my best-selling Combat
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Otherwise you won't have them by Christmas. Go here
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