Why Anger Makes You Happy
Dear Friend,
Was talking to my friend Bill a few weeks back. He was telling me
how angry he was about being dumped by his girl friend.
Story goes like this: Bill had been dating the lady for several months
- and some chumpster whom he took for granted, moved into the
picture and wooed her away. I kid you NOT. I told Bill, in jest,
that this is probably the "first time" in recorded history that something
like this has EVER happened.
This got a smile.
Then I followed up with the following advice: "Bill, you're angy about
this right now - and that's good. Now let me tell you WHY it's good.
Anger is a very powerful emotion. When channeled properly, it can
help you focus like a laser-beam; it can help you get more done in
less time; it can literally give you the fuel to leapfrog so far beyond
this situation that you'll need a telescope to see how far you've
traveled."
"You know," said Bill. "Isn't that the truth? Everyone tells you to never
be angry. But you're right. Since this happened I've focused like a
madman and I've gotten more accomplished in a week than I used to
do in a month."
"I know," I said. "Been there many times. Done that many
times."
I then went on to tell Bill that I save my hate mail. Not all of it, mind
you - just the BEST stuff.
"Now, what would be the purpose of that?" Bill asked.
"Bill ... Bill ... Bill. You mean to say that you DON'T save your hate mail?
Now that's a mistake. You've got to hang on to that stuff. Put it in a file
or in your top drawer. It's some of the best inspiration you'll ever receive.
Whenever you start to slack or get comfortable, take out your "hate mail"
and read through it. Get yourself worked into a white heat of anger. Believe
me, it'll get you focused."
Now, the truth is that I don't need to save my hate mail anymore. I've have
so many old pieces memorized that it's enough fuel for several lifetimes. More
importantly, I've reached the point where I don't have to prove anything to
anybody anymore, except myself. If something makes sense to me, I do it.
Last week, for example, I sent out three straight emails in which I blasted
Michael Moore, calling him a pig and a slob. I sent my email out, knowing,
beyond a shadow of a doubt that my comments would upset some people.
And that they did. On the other hand, however, for every negative 'hate mail'
regarding my comments, I received 20 positive ones.
Interestingly enough, some of the emails fell into the "neither" category. They
weren't "hate" mail - they were what I call "friendly advice."
They go like this:
"Matt, if you talk about politics in your emails - you'll lose half your customers."
"Matt, stick with fitness. Don't ruin an otherwise awesome newsletter with this
drivel."
"Matt, I used to think you were great. Now I realize what a complete ass you
are."
"Matt, I agree with you. Michael Moore is a pig. But stick with what you do best.
Don't sully your newsletter with his name."
Now, let me respond to the type of comments listed above:
1. Lose half my customers? Are you serious? My comments about Moore
brought me more first-time customers than anything I have done in a
long, long time.
2. Stick with fitness? Since when is it better for a human being to fear
venturing into new territory? My whole life is about courageously trying
new things and doing new things. Perhaps my comments about Moore
are setting up or testing a venture into something "new." Or perhaps
they were done to get a reaction that would give me material for several
more emails. Hmmm. Not sure. Anything is possible.
3. Yes, if someone disagrees with my view of Moore - I do qualify in their
mind as an "ass." Absolutely true. No argument from me.
4. Don't sully your newsletter with negative comments about Moore? As I
think about this one, I realize the writer is correctomundo. Yet, there is a
fundamental truism that is being overlooked by him. And that is:
People like being pissed off. They really, really do. People derive great
happiness and joy from being pissed. They love being pissed. Having
someone or something to "vent" at or on is the highlight of the day for
many, many people. And I have to say, I include myself in that group
from time to time as well.
I am certain that the people who got angry with me and wrote hate
mail to me - FELT GREAT about doing so. I am also quite certain that
I got incredible pleasure crafting the emails I wrote about Moore.
Each day on the news, reporters spend their entire day bashing the
president, the candidate, the war, the soldiers, the latest thugs, the latest
celebrity scandal - and so on. And most of the world "tunes in" and "zones
out." People love being angry. Anger gives them pleasure. And so if I have
contributed to any angry feelings you have had, the pleasure is all mine.
Now, a bit about those who wrote - followed by some personal info:
If there was ever a way to do a quick study in human behavior, last week
was it. After my emails went out, it was absolutely amazing to read a selection
of the responses. Here is what I discovered:
Those who LIKED my comments about Moore wrote to tell me just that. They
said they never laughed so hard, didn't realize I was funny, and/or couldn't
agree more.
Those who HATED what I wrote about Moore, however, didn't simply state how
much they vehemently disagreed with me. Oh, no. They went on to tell me that
I was "definitely" a Bush-lover. That I "definitely" am a right-wing wacko. That I
rely of FOX and Bill O'Reilly and Rush Limbaugh as my sole source of NEWS - and
this proves why I don't have a clue. Yada, yada.
This is interesting to me and here's why: It shows how much information people
are willing to fill in on their own, without knowing whether it is true or not.
Those who liked what I wrote filled "nothing in." Those who didn't like what I wrote
filled "a lot" in.
For the record: I enjoy listening to a lot of people on the news - yet, truth is, I rarely
make time to watch the news. I enjoy O'Reilly a lot - yet I don't have time to watch
him very often. In fact, once a month at most. Why do I like O'Reilly? Because I
enjoy watching him "get angry." It's fascinating how he does it. Do I agree with
O'Reilly 'all the time?" Hell no. I agree with some - disagree with some. Simple as
that.
There are others on FOX who are conservative - or right-wing - and I don't like them.
Then there are others who are left-wing, that I find entertaining. Truth is: The only
reason I watch FOX, when I do watch the news - which again, is NOT very often, is
because CNN and the other channels are so friggin boring. They don't know the first thing about entertainment. It's like going to 7-11 for coffee instead of going to Starbucks.
Regarding Rush Limbaugh. Used to listen to him back in the early 1990's, when Clinton
first took office. Loved hearing him "get angry" while remaining happy. Recently I tuned
into Rush to see what he was up to. Again, don't agree with everything he says - but I
do laugh my arse off when he talks.
What is my political point of view? You know, that all depends. To the best of my
knowledge, I am neither Republican nor Democrat. I am conservative in some ways -
and quite possibly not so conservative in other ways. I am not a person who loves
WAR - but I absolutely DO believe in the war we're currently fighting. I am behind our
troops 100%. Regardless of who our president is I want to see the terrorists asses
kicked into hell where they belong.
I find it appalling that whenever terror strikes, people in our own country
immediately take the side of the terrorist. If all of New York City were blown up,
sure enough, there'd be the Michael Moore's saying, "It's our fault. We did it to
ourselves."
My friend Ed Baran says it best, "This is the same argument we hear whenever Israel
is attacked. It's Israel's fault that the Palestinians attacked. They did it to themselves."
Not.
So here's the deal: If you don't like my opinions about matters unrelated to fitness,
I wholeheartedly understand. But I am not going to pigeon-hole myself and
only write about fitness. If this upsets you - no problem. Simply opt out of
the list. No harm, no foul.
But ... being that last week, during my 3-day Michael Moore spree, there were
fewer opt-outs than any other days, I think that people LIKE being "angry."
If I can make you happy by making you angry then I'm happy.
That's all for now.
Kick Ass - Take Names!
P.S. One more thing: The person who wrote to express concern about me losing half
my customers - well, not only do I not believe, based upon the demographics of
my customers that that is going to happen - but today, just for kicks, I'm not even
going to make an offer to buy my incredible products. If no one buys today, believe
me, I can whether the storm. If you want to know why, then go here.
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