Received many tremendous emails over the last few days – most of which complimented me on the direction I’m taking with exercise, health and fitness. Had a few that were less than flattering. Goes with duh territory.
For example, yesterday a man wrote to ‘splain a thing er two about writing copy. Here’s his note:
My reply: All misspellings or deliberate!!! Tru dhat!
Sent from Eye-fone
Ya know, I got to thinking about Rich’s email. As enticing as being “professional” in my spelling iz – I opt out of his para-dime.
Here’s why: It takes a bit of genius to deliberately misspell a word. Most people misspell words because they can’t spell. But a trade mark of higher thinking means you forego the neurosis of pleezing English teachers and get on with the bizness of doing what flows.
Now, as much as I like Rich, he oughta examine a couple companies that are doing berry, berry well.
Shouldn’t the name of this franchise be spelled correctly? Not
to mention all their billboards.
Damn – the copywriter oughta be fired. Everyone knows it should read “Chick Filet.”
And then there’s Wendy’s. The joint should be called “Windy’s” because the food blows. Hehe.
Then there’s Publix Super Markets. Another misspelled company.
And Dick’s Sporting Goods. To be politically correct – I’d spell it Dix – otherwise some people might get the wrong idea.
Whole Foods would be much more interesting if it were “Hole Foods.”
CarMax should really be KarlMarx.
Quicken Loans should be Quicker Loans.
And so on.
Let’s face facts: English is a brutally stupid language. It’s so bad it causes most people who could be writers to give up because a teacher pick-nitted her to death instead of inspiring her to be more CR8IV.
I also find it funny that Rich ass-umes someone else wrote my horrible copy. Nope. All the type-o’s – are mine. I claim them. I love them.
Okay, well, what about the term “Abs of Reel?”
Didn’t I really mean abs of “real” – as my friend proposed?
The answer: NO.
I meant “reel” – as in “reeling” – a term widely used by practitioners of Chinese internal martial arts.
Again, you gotta be broad-minded here. I know it’s not easy to ponder outside the potty, but it’ll do you and others a lot of good when the bowel retentiveness flows into the “John” instead of staying lodged within.
Now, to balance things out a bit – here’s another email I got yesterday:
What a great feeling.
Writing really is EASY when you know how. Over the years, I’ve spent thousands of dollars on other products I found online and most of them fell short on their promises. Even after reading your emails and sales letters I was skeptical. I wasn’t convinced you could help me. I’m not sure why I changed my mind and it doesn’t matter because taking action turned out to be the right thing.
Whoever said, “The teacher appears when the student is ready” was right.
I also purchased “Theater of The Mind” and I couldn’t be happier. Many thanks and keep up the good work.
P.S. – By the way, this letter took 12 minutes to write, just like you promised in your email copywriting course.
MJF: That’s awesome, Ed. Continued flow and success to you. But I am a bit disappointed that you had ZERO tie-poz in your email. Dang-nabit.Well, my friend, it’s all good. Cheers to Rich and Ed. You gave me something fun to do for “this-here” email.