Remember the scene in Caddyshack, where a Baby Ruth candy bar gets tossed into the swimming pool while everyone is playing in the sun.

Judge Smails (Ted Knight) assumes the worst and orders everyone out of the pool. He demands the entire pool be drained, sanitized and disinfected.

Carl Spackler (Bill Murray) follows orders. Dressed in white protective gear, he drains the pool, but before disinfecting, he approaches the so-called “feces log.” Recognizing that it might be a BabyRuth candy bar, he draws closer to it, picks it up, sniffs it and takes a bite.

“Hey, it’s not big deal,” he quips.

Judge Smails’ wife faints on the spot.

This is the power of hypnosis in the media.

In Psycho-Cybernetics, Dr. Maxwell Maltz gave a hypothetical example of someone going into the forest dressed as a bear.

If you encountered this person dressed as a bear while out trekking, you would probably react in a predictable manner. You would believe the costumed person to be a bear, and you would begin to feel fear. Your heart beat would speed up, your breathing would be altered, and then you’d either run (dumb move against a real bear), or you would fall to the ground and assume the fetal position.

I realize it’s a simple thing to do, but giving yourself a few more feet of separation from what you’re seeing or hearing (or getting ultra-close to it), is a powerful antidote for analyzing whether something is real or not. A few more feet of space changes your perception of reality.

So does being willing to question the unquestionable; being willing to ask, “What if none of this were true?” Or, “What if this story is only partially true?”

And so it goes with health and fitness advice.

Modern day narratives go this way:

Wear a mask in public so you don’t get sick. 

Don’t touch your face. 

Don’t take Vitamin C, D or Zinc, they won’t help you.

Don’t go out in the sun.

Don’t go to the beach. 

Don’t meditate in the park. 

Don’t take anything unless it’s prescribed by a doctor. Instead listen to our people, who may or may not be doctors, but have more money than Rockefeller. 

Oh, and this one: If there was ever a time to stop smoking, now would be it. 

This last one might have you wondering, but lo and behold, those who smoke seem to be warding off the virus better than those who don’t.

No friggin shi-it.

Makes me want to start my day with a cigar. Hell, why not?

And a slice of cheese cake – without the nasty crust.

All joking aside, one of my recent discoveries is having cheese cake for breakfast. Why wait until after dinner or lunch, or supper – or whatever you want to call it.

For less than the cost of a dozen eggs, I can open the fridge and slice off a section of New York Cheesecake. And guess what I’m getting? I’m getting eggs, milk, butter – all of which I believe are good for me. And by abstaining from the crust, I avoided the part that’s bad for me (the heavy starchy carbs).

Cheesecake for breakfast is a time saver and a money saver.

It adds pep to my workouts and helps with digestion.

Not only that, but being it’s my favorite food, eating it makes me happy.

And happiness cannot be overrated, eh?

Perhaps I need to put out a new book with a cheesy title. Something along the lines of Cheesecake Conditioning.

It may be a while though as I need to sample more product.

In the interim, I’ll stick with my international best-seller, Combat Conditioning.

Now the only question that remains is this: To eat the Cheesecake before or after the workout?

If you’ve been reading my dispatches, you’ve probably already ascertained the answer to that question.

Kick ass – take names,

Matt Furey

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