There’s a man whom I presume is in his 70’s who enters the sauna most nights when he finishes swimming. He’s physically fit and doesn’t mind showing it.
All of IT.
Whilst some of us are clad in shorts and others fully clothed, this man enters the hot box with his trunks dripping and a beach towel. He doesn’t grab some wood, i.e. take a seat.
Instead, he faces us, removes his trunks and shows his wares. It’s s bit strange as this public sauna is not a naked one.
But that’s not all.
As soon as he takes his suit off, he feels compelled to wring it out on the floor. Then he wraps his beach towel around his waist for about five seconds. Then he unwraps it to display his tallywhacker again. He repeats this process once more before exiting to the shower.
The flasher is in the sauna for no more than 60 seconds, yet he leaves a reminder of his presence as a present for all of us. If he were a male canine, I would comprehend what he’s doing. He would be marking his turf. But for a human doing, this is odd behavior.
I usually sauna for 30 minutes, almost daily, and I’ve never thought of removing my briefs to wring them out before I leave. But this guy wastes nearly no time before baring his essentials.
Oddly enough, no one says a word. No one even flinches.
Ater a few days of observing this man’s automatic tendency, I asked the other by-sitters, if I’m the only one who’s noticed this peculiar-air-ity.
Everyone laughed.
Showing deep compassion, I thought to myself, “Perhaps he’s totally unaware of what he’s doing. It’s probably a schlong-standing habit.”
Ah, the weird things we humans do, without thinking.
Yet I’m left to wonder, if this man lifted one leg to douse the “fire hydrant,” would anyone speak up?
I’m betting that if he did, there’d be quite a stir.
Matt Furey
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