Last night I was at a gym in Northwestern Montana, doing some bar hanging exercises in between knocking the heavy bag around with various punches and kicks.
Meanwhile, two chiseled, striated muscular men with extremely low body fat began shouting at each other.
They huffed, they puffed and hurled expletives.
I was about 20 feet away from this roid-boy showdown, popping the bag with animalistic blows as I wondered if I would have a standing-seat to a knuckle-dragging, knockdown, knockout melee.
As I trained and observed these jaw-jutters, “Everybody loves Kung Fu fighting,” was playing on the big screen of my mind.
But no.
There was no Kung Fu.
There was only Fu Yu.
The tough guys jutted their jaws and flexed their swollen, immobile counterfeit muscles.
But instead of hurling blows, they tossed the porcupine back and forth with “F.U.” and “NO, Fu Yu You F’n Mama F’er.”
Unholy were the expletives.
I imagined I could play my part in this non-animal house, yelling to the front desk, “Fuuuuu Fight.”
But no.
It was all a limp, lily-livered schlong and dance.
Nothing to break up.
Nothing to write about.
These men could have given me some good material – but instead I had to come up with material from the immaterial.
I had a great sense of letdown.
So I went to the sauna, figuring that it would give me a pickup.
It sure did. 180 degrees does a body good.
Back at home I took a brief rest on the sofa, then grabbed a seat on the floor to do some “Kung Fu” or Combat Stretching.
And then it hit me. Fu Yu Fighting is a metaphor for how NOT to become flexible.
When you stretch, you don’t swear at your muscles. You don’t fight them.
You relax and breathe deeply into them.
You remove the undesirable tension by commanding the tight areas to let go.
You smile, laugh and teach your body why we say “calm down” instead of “calm up.”
Combat Stretching with a smile is far better than Fu Yu Fighting with a frown.
Let go of the Fu Yu and bring in the New You.
Combat Stretching is the way to go… hohoho.
Get it NOW!
Matt Furey
